Unfortunately, many of us have had the sinking feeling that we weren’t the only woman our guy was dating. We may have been overreacting, but our gut instincts are often correct. Too many guys are “Stevie J‘ing” it, simply offering rides on their overcrowded and drama filled bus. If the guy you’re dating is showing these signs, run for the hills. You have to value your self and know that no man is worth sharing.
Your dates are planned far in advance.
If you live in the same city, you should be able to go out together without giving more than a week’s notice. Some men do have very busy work schedules or travel a lot which could complicate scheduling dates. However, men make time for what they want, so if you’re a priority he will treat you as such.
You rarely go on dates in public places.
People who are dating, go OUT on dates. You should see each other outside of your respective homes. If you only meet at the hotel, motel, or Holiday Inn, you’re definitely not his main chick. Your dates shouldn’t be limited to dive bars and restaurants on the out-skirts of town either. If they are, he’s likely trying to avoid being seen by people he knows.
Doesn’t answer the phone around you or you never hear it ring.
He can’t risk answering the phone when you’re around. You’re likely unaware that you’re the side chick and he doesn’t want you talking in the background while his main chick is on the phone.
Panics if you get near his phone.
He NEVER leaves his phone around you and if you see his phone its locked, and face down. If you’re in a relationship then he shouldn’t have to guard his phone so heavily. Side Note: I don’t condone snooping through your guy’s phone or email. If you look for evidence that he’s cheating, then you’ll likely find it, because your suspicion was already high.
Phone calls are brief and only during certain hours.
If you’re dating, you should be able to call him during reasonable hours. You should be able to communicate with him outside of “booty call” hours. It’s also not a good sign if you have to wait for him to contact you first. When you only speak to him, its only for a few minutes, and the subject is usually “wyd” and when is he going to see you again.
Cancels plans a lot.
He has his main chick to tend to, so when things come up you’re the one to get the shaft. You’re not a priority and your plans go on the back burner. If he keeps canceling your plans, last-minute that’s a huge red flag.
Spontaneity is not allowed.
Call him out of the blue, say you’re in the area and would like to see him. If he freaks out or makes an excuse, that’s a red flag. He wants to date you on his own terms and when you step outside of that, it causes him to panic.
You don’t know where he lives.
If you have been dating for a while, you should know where he lives. You may not have been inside, but you should have the option to visit. A man who keeps his residence a secret, is hiding who lives inside of it.
Unavailable on holidays.
He’s spending the holidays with his family and you’re never invited or he always has to work. A guy that is serious about you, he will want to see you on holidays. If he’s always “busy” on holidays, you share that man.
Never talks about the future.
He doesn’t ask about your life plans and shows no interest in getting to know you as a person. His focus is on the here and now and he doesn’t see the need in sharing his future plans because you likely won’t be around for long.
Doesn’t want you to mention him and won’t acknowledge you on social media.
This is a huge red flag. Some people don’t like posting pictures of the people they date, but you should be able communicate with him. You should be able to mention him and he should respond to you on social media.
He doesn’t like when you take pictures of him.
You don’t need pictures of your “bae” because he’s not yours. He doesn’t want to risk you posting those pictures on social media or the pictures getting back to his main chick. He definitely doesn’t want any pictures of you together.
You don’t know his real name.
I have no idea how women date (and sleep with) men and don’t know their real name. If you’re on a date with @DudeFromDaBlock and something bad happens, what will you tell the police? You’re going to look real stupid telling the police his @ name. You should know the full (first and last) name and birth date of everyone you go out with.
He won’t spend the night.
If your guy lives with a woman, he won’t be able to stay over or he will have to leave really early. The woman he lives with expects him to come home at night and if he doesn’t, it will cause a lot of problems which he doesn’t want.
Your relationship is purely physical.
He only calls when he wants to sleep together. All of his compliments and attention are focused on your physical appearance. He’s only interested in “what dat mouf do” and not in getting to know you as a person.
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